Saddest goodbye to our dear little angel

Its been like months since I updated you on my pregnancy. These past months was very difficult for us. We lost our little angel on October 21, just a week before my 30th birthday. He was 14 weeks then,,, yes He.. it was a boy.  No regrets because we know that we did everything we can.  I was hospitalized for 4 days to treat the bleeding. One Sunday morning I pee fresh blood.  Since no doctors available on this day, we decided to stay in bed and rest. Same thing happened on Monday but this time I saw a small blood clot on my undies. I texted my OB and we are advised to do Transvi before meeting her. When she saw the report I was advised not to go home and go straight to the ER because my cervix is open and a hospital bed rest is needed. On my 3rd day of stay the bleeding stops and I was asked if I could try taking a trip to the bathroom but unfortunately that didn't went well. I bleed again and this time the doctor told me that I will be on bed rest for the rest of my pregnancy. Bills are filling up so we decided to continue medication at home. I was doing ok at home.. my mother in law and my husband is taking good care of me. At some point the bleeding stops and that was a good sign. I was on a complete bed rest for a week and that is something very new to me.. Its very uncomfortable to the point that you need assistance on anything that you need to do. I felt like helpless and emotionally weak but the comfort of knowing that all of this is for my baby strengthens me. Just before midnight of oct 20 I felt discomfort, Its like you need to fart but its not getting out.. that stuff of like you need to take a shit out but wont come out. Just to ease the discomfort I am actually punching my fist on the wall . Its emotionally draining. I told my self I'll try to take out the gas once more and used the bed pan. I fart a bit of air and peed a little and that it... after 5 min I felt like something came out and that something is blood and the bleeding continues so they decided to bring me back to the hospital. I felt that my water broke and my baby came out before arriving in the hospital. The thought of loosing the life inside of me is very depressing. I kept on whispering "my baby, my baby". In the hospital I went on a D and C operation. A day after we went home got better day after day.